Ephesians 6:4 reads, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” There are two thoughts in that sentence. Let’s take them up in reverse order.
“Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This is a call to train your children in the faith. Parents are responsible to provide for their children. They are to provide food, shelter, education, and spiritual instruction. A father would not open the door and say to his minor child, “I hope you find something to eat out there. Good luck.” Neither would a father set his child adrift with no knowledge of God. We are called the train our children in the faith.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,” is the first part of the sentence. Here is what it doesn’t mean. It doesn’t mean parents allow themselves to be manipulated by the moods of their children. It doesn’t mean that a parent gives in to tantrums. What does it mean? It means that there are families where chronic anger is the predominate emotion. It means that there are families where there has been some profound hurt that has never healed. Some of those families fight all the time. More of those families avoid each other. Some never speak to one another again. No one can hurt you like family can hurt you. There is a lot of anger simmering in families.
There is a remedy. The remedy is to stay grounded in your relationship with God. God responds to human anger with grace and forgiveness. God answered our dysfunction by sacrificing his son. When we are grounded in our relationship with God, we can break the downward spiral that holds families captive and have the possibility of a better future.
In our sermon this Sunday we will talk about how to have a healthy relationship with your children.